Should Every Woman Try To Breastfeed Her Baby?

By Sofie Jacobs
 

To breastfeed your baby or not remains one of the most controversial topics out there.  As a midwife, I can honestly say that while breast milk is the most natural option and has many benefits, it is not always the best option. In fact the very idea that breast milk gives baby the best start in life, is in my opinion, nonsense, because this statement only stands when breastfeeding works for mother, baby and her family. (And when she actually enjoys it).

It sounds scandalous to even write it down, and that’s because breastfeeding is often seen as a concept rather than a very real, and very individual and personal experience between a mother and her child.

Take it from me, breastfeeding is not a black and white issue.

Natural = normal

Breast milk and breastfeeding are seen as natural, and that’s exactly what they are, and like many things in nature, there’s a lot of unpredictability. Giving birth (whether vaginally or surgically) will help kick start the release of the hormones that are involved in the production of breast milk – on paper everything has been designed biologically to work out perfectly. Except it doesn’t always go to plan.

Just as not every mother has a straightforward vaginal birth simply because she has a uterus and a vagina, not every mother with breasts and breast milk is able to or wishes to feed her baby from her breast.

Choosing to breastfeed your baby is something mothers and babies must work out, and there can be all kinds of challenges that often seem – and if no adequate support is on hand – prove insurmountable. From tongue tie to mastitis, having a premature baby or multiples, breastfeeding can easily add stress and extra difficulty for new mums, depending on their circumstances. Yes it’s natural, but it’s rarely simple.

Breastfeeding is complicated

Latch learning, listening to baby’s drinking sounds, burping, expressing, checking your baby is gaining weight, dealing with raw, cracked and bleeding nipples, painful breast engorgement and infections – breastfeeding brings a lot of challenges with it. Although the rewards can be great, being able to breastfeed your baby successfully requires a lot of help. To have the best chances of breastfeeding success you need complete family support as well as support from the health care professionals around you and not every mother is lucky enough to have the ideal scenario.

Support for everyone

Support really is one of the most important things a new mum can have – regardless of her feeding choices. No matter whether a new mum is breastfeeding, bottle-feeding or mix feeding, she should be supported at every step. Having a baby is hard enough without judgement from the ‘milk police.’

Mums who are unable to breastfeed or who choose not to, should never be made to feel negatively about something that is so personal. Making breastfeeding a public argument is simply not helpful to any new mum (or baby!).

What about breastfeeding bliss?

One of the reasons why there is such breastfeeding pressure on mums, is the fact new motherhood is so closely linked with the image of a nursing. In fact, a lot of expectant mums I work with have a vision of breastfeeding that’s at odds with the reality. They imagine a baby contentedly suckling while they look down lovingly, instead of the rollercoaster of feeding challenges I mentioned before.

The reality is that this type of enjoyable breastfeeding or breastfeeding bliss as I like to call it, is something that doesn’t come until much later, when all the hurdles have been surmounted.

The problem is that women are not taught enough about what to expect – from pain, fatigue and even despair and the emotional, physical and hormonal turmoil that often comes with breastfeeding. Mums who want to breastfeed need support to get them through the hard days so that the vision of breastfeeding bliss can finally happen.

Respect for personal choice

We are entitled to our personal preferences and choices as long as they don’t betray the rights of others and yet if a mum choses not to try breastfeeding, she is often singled out and judged. There can be all kinds of physical or emotional reasons for not wanting to try breastfeeding, and every time these reasons are incredibly personal and powerful.

If a woman prefers not to breastfeed or can’t, she needs to be supported in her choices and helped to choose from the other safe feeding options that are available. At the end of the day, forcing someone who doesn’t want to breastfeed her baby to do so, would not be giving her baby the best start in life and it wouldn’t be good midwifery either.

On the flipside, whenever I work with a client who freaks out about the idea of breastfeeding her baby, but also really wants to, I will support her to get there. When I work with a client who is purely trying to breastfeed her baby because she feels pressure (breast feeding pressure) but it is completely damaging her experience of being a mum, then it is my job to explain to her that there are safe other options out there.

The bottom line

Babies in developed countries where there is access to clean water, do not need to be breastfed in order to lead healthy and fulfilled lives.  While no one will contest the nutritional benefits of breast milk, it’s far more important that babies are fed, loved, kept warm and sheltered and that their mother feels supported and confident.

If that means breastfeeding her baby, then great – I will fully support her. If that means formula feeding, then great – I will fully support her. And if that means mix feeding, then great – I will fully support her. And so should everyone else. So the answer to the question, should every woman breastfeed your baby, is no. The milk police can go and do one. Not your baby? Not your breasts? Not your choice.

In Urban Hatch, we want to provide you with expert guidance and ongoing support through your entire journey to parenthood, go check out HATCH, our online prenatal and postnatal classes today!

Image Credit: Austin Birth Photography

Similar Resources

Let’s Connect

@urban_hatch | #urbanhatch
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    If you're looking for a prenatal course that speaks to your partner, we've got it This little gem is from
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    The active phase of labour is where things often get tricky for partners, too...Here's our advice for partners in this
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Check out our blog post on the crazy things that happen to your hormones during postpartum (they actually reach levels
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    We all have expectations. And for decades, mainstream perceptions and education around birth and babies teach us to plan and
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Breastfeeding while baby-wearing, who's done it? ‍♀️ If you think people stare when you breastfeed in public, try doing it
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    What was the best thing your partner did during labour?⁠ ⁠ :  @danicadonnelly 
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Breastfeeding is natural. That doesn't mean it's instinctive or easy. Your experience is valid, mama. More truths and tips about
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    What do you wish you would have known? Check out our online pre and postnatal course Hatch™ for the real
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Small things can make a big difference in laying the right sleep foundations for your baby, especially if you're mindful
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Yes What expecting mums and dads need to hear is...⁠ ⁠ that nipples might bleed and crotches might sting, but
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    No one hustles like a working mama Curious…did you feel comfortable telling your manager and/or team: "Hey I'll be taking
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Hands up if you've ever felt guilty for working too much or ashamed of not working enough ⁠‍♀️⁠ ⁠ It's
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Breaks my heart to know that some mums-to-be might not get to have their partners physically by their side for
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Some days they feel like cracks. Some days, they're tiger marks. Embrace it all, mama...you're fragile and fierce and that's
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    How long should you wait to cut the cord? ⁠ ⁠ We'd say at least a full minute (unless there's
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Naps take on a whole new meaning with little ones...⁠ ⁠ ‍♀️overtired babies refusing their nap⁠ ⏲️the struggle of planning
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Question for dads: what was your favourite way of bonding with your baby in the early months? Tag a dad
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Simple affirmations can be so powerful if they hit the right note ✨ We've hand-picked 16 of our favourite bump
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    Did you feel satisfied, sad, proud, guilty or all/none of the above about returning to work after maternity leave?⁠ ⁠
  • by urban_hatch 2 years ago
    What if planning is not the best way of feeling ready for birth? What if, instead, we focus on preparing

Learn. Laugh. Love.

Enter your email and you’ll get expert antenatal advice, plus invitations to free online events.